Mocking Hollywood…Krrish

Reading Time: 4 minutes


PS: Hey does anyone need to type Pre-Script? anyways… Why didnt Preity Zinta fall in love with Jadoo in KMG? coz it could not perform anything without DHOOOOOOOOOOP…..

What would happen if u take all the powers of hollywood superheroes, grind properly, make a cock-tail and feed it to Hrithik Roshan, Undoubtedly you will get our own desi superhero-Krishna err… KRRISH.. who can fly like superman, swing like spidey, jump like hulk, fast as callisto(x-3),climb trees like tarzan, bash the baddies like neo.. the list goes on

So, now it is about 20 years since JADOO has gone back to his home. Due to some incident, lets say, X, Rohit Mehra and his wife are no more. But have a son Krishna for whom ‘legacy is passed’, now with extra power. When Rekha realises about this, takes him to a village and starts fresh life. Here, comes the Hrithik part-2 in his pyjamas and a top(name left to one’s imagination), sleeveless, t-shirt,banian whatever… they still remain dirty though his grandma uses abundant amount of tide to wash clothes. Now, enters Priyanka Chopra in a glider…. and need not say, our hero saves her from a deadly accident. What would you do if you see someone like Krrish? Your curiosity just does not end up by taking some videos of this guy. Special effects used in the crap ‘Kalicharan-Lalcharan’ story did not have any effect on the normal audience. Hrithik also plays Volleyball… but how? Serve: He throws the ball up… agreed, jumps…agreed, hits….agreed, Ball tares the volley-net…agreed, goes some 100 meters..agreed, hits a rock…agreed, bounces…agreed, rock develops visible cracks but the ball is still round…agreed!!!Roshans did not spare Rajnikant too… and now, our hero is in love but priyanka has to leave to singapore after her camp.
Since chopra is late to her office back in singapore, she is loosing her job and wants a documentary on this ‘talented guy’ of India to protect her job. When krishna wants to go to singapore and get his love back, rekha recites X…. His dad Rohit had been to Singapore for creating a computer which can predict future for our villain-nasaruddeen shah. In the meantime he was killed in a fire in lab… But actually this is only X/2. The other part is later. Wait a minute…. Rohit was away from his home for 2 years when krishna was born!!! So, Preity zinta… Whats going on????(Salaam Namaste, remember)

In singapore, our hero starts doing some jackie-chan also in the middle of road. Here is the making of superhero…The couple goes to a Circus… The people who had come to see circus are more amused of ‘Dil Nadiya’ and forgot why they were there …. may be because majority of them were Indians. Saves some kids from the fire that breaks out and becomes every child’s favourite instantly. Krrish sooner comes to know that Priyanka actually fooled him on the topic ‘love’ and is ready to go back… and bang!!! He comes to know the rest X/2. His dad is alive!!!

When Rohit had built the computer (You can see your death in the computer with dts quality audio and also with superb quality videography…again in filmi style)single handedly, he comes to know his boss is a bad-guy and destroys it. But he had to be kept alive since he himself will be the password if it is built again… Guess what the passwords are for this ‘Minority Report’ kind of computer? his retina and Heart-beat… Gosh.. I really didnt know about uniqueness of everyones heart-beat. So, Rohit is kept under very ‘tight’ security in some island, his mind working but not body, one more Minority report fundaa. Now, Krrish after knowing that his father whose legacy has been passed on to him, could not save himself from the hands of normal mortals, starts chasing Nasarudden shah’s Helicopter… Seriously, I did not understand the trajectory of Helicopter and Krrish for a single moment.. Who was chasing whom???? Krrish enters tight-security zone…. mind you it is very tight…because there are morons in their tribal dress fighting with something like sword and there is a single pistol in the island. Again you wont understand x,y and z coordinates of krrish who beats the bad-guys black and blue…. Here he was a Mithun Chakraborty rather…The single pistol had a success rate of 33.33% with 3 fires and 1 death. N. Shan was unsuccessful in do-that-else-your-love-will-die style of bollywood.

Climax-Krrish is back to his grandma with ek-ke-saath-ek-free offer of her son and his love. Rohit now sits on his comp err… his dad’s and pings Jadoo…and jadoo replies instantly…. No Cable, No Internet… New era of IMs… Though the computer can only send om.. om.. om.. om, as for now, further developments will surely be a breakthrough. So all those at Yahoo, Gtalk, Skype, AIM and ICQ better get ready for this or opt to follow MSNs ‘The Road Ahead-Philantropy’ policy.

Though the use of strings in action sequences look cool… they could not make upto hollywood standards with Hrithik…And if Roshans produce yet another sequel …. what extra powers will rekha’s greatson will possess remains the question. Rajesh roshan’s music was upto standard… his standard. Rakesh has used abundant brand ads including Siyarams, Tide, Vicks, Hero Honda, Karizma, Lays. The film which cost 50 Crores already made double of it within 10 days of release.

My First Novel or whatever….

Reading Time: 3 minutes


Its been very long since I posted… enough to be called extinct, but who knows, even dinosaurs can be just endangered. This long-enough can be defined by ‘I clicked the Forgot your Password? Button follwed by a recover my username button’. The sitemeter people mail me every now and then, number of visits to this page which will be full of typical digital electronics characters.
I really don’t want to eat away a fundoo url and waste a fundoo caption.

All my school days, I thought novels are always for jobless people, housewives and old and bedridden people. I really wondered to see my friends over here who read those thick fat books which read the authors name in Bold and Large font and the title lying somewhere around in a small font unimportantly and I tell you, if you were one of my kind, these dudes in those bold large fonts can write about a single flower for complete five A5 size sheets!!! Reading a 9.5.4.1… from schilling-belove, the electronics bestseller would be easier than reading these literary explanations of biological sepals, petals etc. I thought. As I remember, it was only a page from some Sidney-Sheldon book which my friend had showed me in my 7th standard and we went around asking our batch mates in the dormitory to read. Some of them became so tensed as if they were standing in the position of a rape-convict. And the others were excited more than Thomas Edison when he invented bulb.

Surat 1 May 06 1730hrs
It was the summer when we just finished our 4th sem exams and got vacation. I wasnt so excited about the vacations ( I am not one among those who would shout ‘Exams Over, time to party guys’ as if they came out of a erupting volcano perfectly fine) but exams did not go so bad either.

Bombay 5 May 06 1730hrs
A sunny day, I got down at Borivilli along with Sandy n Chandru. So, just to make some groundnuts (timepass, I mean), Ashu took us to roam around the city until sandy was excited at some place and said, “Look there, some books”. Bloody, I was just thinking of getting rid of books for few weeks, this chap is …. He wanted some Shantaram, Gangaram stuff. He said “Le you also just see. there are nice books here”, looking at the heap of books in a basket which the vendor was selling like road-side vada-pav shouting “pachas rupay ek, kuch bhi lo, pachas rupay ek”. Just then my sight went over this book which had Steve’s photo over it. I still dont know why, without second thought I handed over pachas rupay to him as if it was a good bargain to have pirated version of whole of California for a single note.

Local Train Same Day 2100hrs
I was standing near the entrance holding something above me though the forces around me balanced just like those of typical NCERT physics books diagrams, catching this book like a filmfare award. Thanks to plastic ban, Sandy was holding some 3 books there. I wonder how people carry grocery and milk there. May be people carry a litre of milk in mugs every morning, anyway nobody will misunderstand them I guess.

Home 21 May 06 0700hrs
I had to leave for Bangalore by Inter-city after an hour. Packed whatever things I found necessary and even unnecessary. At last when I was about to lift the bag, I saw this book again on the table which had been lying there unmoved for 2 weeks. I just took it, not exactly to read but may be it would be a good alternative to handkerchief for reserving my seat in the train through ‘window-service’. One would feel good to replace a close-up photo of Jobs by his own personal and special bum. As train started, I looked at the book and thought it would be another five-pages-per-flower type. And one go, I finished off about 90 pages just like I drove 100kmph in my first drive itself.

Need not worry, I wont try to write some review of the book. Overall, The book is a good read. Besides the story of apple, it gives some insights of Jobs, sometimes as a con… Thats why the name. It was released under controversy with Jobs sueing Wiley. Apple stopped selling Wiley’s books in its stores and declared its series of ‘Mac for Dummies’ as outdated. Watching Pirates of Silicon Valley prior to this, will increase your interest.

THE ZEROth POST

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Watched so many people out here in svnit ‘blogging’. so why leave this unfragged? So, thought of entering this ‘blogosphere’ myself. My first blog is dedicated to the new genre of spammers. Guess whom am i talking about yourself… read on…..

Disturbing your 6 pm sleep continuosly for 3 days, your phone starts ringing ‘yeah yeah’ (by usher). looking at an unknown airtel number, when you recieve the call and hear to that regular irritating tone of a soft voiced lady who says ‘namaskar e airtel ke taraf se muft call hai…’, you go nuts,bolts,screws, hinges etc.

or

You have just come to your room after recharging hundreds, you start recieving hundred messages in your inbox telling you about various recharge options and the most irritating of all smses like ‘to recieve daily tips on housekeeping……’.if this is not a spam then what else do you call?

or

You want to call your friend very urgently just before the first period asking him to give your proxy, your operator is more excited as usual to tell you to recharge with new ‘white elephant’ scheme of theirs again through the same fuckin lady to whom you cant say ‘Shut up. I already have a thousand in my credit’. I really went mad one day when after waiting for her to finish and next voice says he is swithced off.

or

Now for almost all the cell users….even you give a good competition to your operator by smsing your friends all day long the so-called forwards, rather the spams,the mobile-spams

and now
at last
For Heaven’ s sake,
Do not spam my comment column by your useless stuff. There is no need to ‘EXPRESS YOURSELF’